Strange as it may sound, “Success” is one of the most misunderstood subjects today. That is why so many people desperately want to achieve “success”, but so many do not achieve it.

That is why we need to understand what actually is “success”. We can start by identifying some very common misunderstandings about success. This is important because if your concept of success is wrong, it becomes much more difficult to achieve success !

In the previous sessions, we have identified 5 misunderstandings about success. They are :

MISUNDERSTANDING 1
Many people are not successful because of their background, such as their education, their family background, their childhood, etc

MISUNDERSTANDING 2
Successful people do not make mistakes.

MISUNDERSTANDING 3
To succeed, we have to work more than 60 (70,80,90…) hours a week

MISUNDERSTANDING 4
If you always ask for help, you will not be successful

MISUNDERSTANDING 5
You need luck to be successful

MISUNDERSTANDING 6
You will only succeed if you play within the rules

MISUNDERSTANDING 7
You are successful when everybody likes you

MISUNDERSTANDING 8
Success is a destination


In this session, we shall explore misunderstandings number 9 and 10

MISUNDERSTANDING 9
Success is when everybody says that you are successful


I have put misunderstandings 9 and 10 together because, although they seem to be different, they are actually similar.


A successful person does not need the declaration of other people for him to feel successful. A successful person knows deep down inside that he has achieved all that he has set out to achieve and has a sense of satisfaction and a sense of achievement.

Often, this “success” is not in terms of financial success, not in terms of status nor position in society. A parent who has raised his children well… where his children have become useful members of society, and are raising great children.. will have a great sense of success. Most of society do not know him, he is not very rich, does not hold a high position, but he has raised a loving family and on weekends, he enjoys the company of his many children and grandchildren… that’s success also, is that not ?

Many people can say that we are successful… successful business, good money, good status in society, etc ….but only we now how successful (or unsuccessful) we are !

We feel / know that we are successful when we have achieve that which we have set out to achieve. In other words, we have achieved our goals. That implies that we must have goals! Therefore in order for us to know whether or not we have achieved our goals, we must have goals in the very first place ! Without a clear destination, how would we know whether we have arrived or not ? Therefore, it is so surprising that many people do not have clear goals. Without clear goals, how do we know whether we have achieved something or not ? And without this sense of achievement, how can there be a sense of success and satisfaction ? That is the very reason why so many people work so very hard in their lives and yet have a desperate sense of emptiness… because they have no clear goals ! They do not know what they want to achieve !


MISUNDERSTANDING 10

Success is when all my problems are over

We all realize that life is a never-ending journey… it’s one problem after another. Even that is a matter of state of mind.

Do you look at life’s problems as “problems” ? Other people look at problems in other ways :

• “Challenges”- some people do not look at problems as problems. They consider problems to be challenges to test their capability and ability If you look at a problem as a challenge, your energy level automatically changes from negative (when you consider it to be a problem) into positive (because you are motivated to overcome the challenge)

• “A learning experience” – some people look at problems as opportunities to learn something from it. They look at a problem as something that they can profit from.. When they are faced with a problem, they ask themselves “what caused this problem ?”. Once they have found the cause, they ask themselves “what have I learnt from this?”, “what can I do in future to avoid this problem?”. After they have solved the problem, they ask themselves “what have I learnt from solving this problem?’, “how can I apply this experience and knowledge so that I am better prepared, better skilled and wiser in the future?”. People who look at problems this way are often grateful for the learning experience !

• “From peak to peak” – yet other people look at problems as a natural part of life’s journey. Life is like climbing a great mountain range. We get to the peak by climbing up, arrive at one peak, look up and find that there is another peak to climb. We gather our strength and courage and climb to the next peak only to find that there is yet another peak. We do not feel despaired but we take it in our stride because we know and accept that this is part of life. The reality in life is not that we will one day reach our peak. The reality in life is that often, the higher we climb, the more we realize how much higher we have to climb. Hence the popular saying “The more we know, the more we realize how little we know.” “The more we learn, the more we realize how much more we have to learn”. Yes, life is one peak after another. However, realize and be happy for the fact that each time we scale one peak, we get a little higher.. we are constantly improving.

So what is success ? Success is a state of mind… success is being grateful and happy for what you have, and yet being positive enough to know that there are many more challenges to look forward to…